A taboo for some and a delight for others, few areas of sexual exploration excite more curiosity than Anal Play. Many couples and individuals find their curiosity aroused but often feel unsure or unable to take it further than a few gentle (or sometimes not so gentle!) probings with a finger.
There is absolutely no reason why anal play cannot be part of a healthy loving sexual repertoire, and it does not have to be dirty or unhealthy, and it most certainly does not have to be painful. Your rectum is a marvellously sensitive area, able to respond to the slightest touch with pleasure, and enjoying this does not make you dirty or weird.
The kind of pleasure we derive from our anus is a highly individual thing. Some are content with a gentle stroking, or the feel of a finger pressing without penetrating, while others enjoy the feel of a dildo or plug moving into them, and the feeling of fullness that follows, so it’s always worth a little experimentation to find the right pleasure for you.
This brings us to the issue of pain. There is a myth that anal sex or play of any kind is supposed to be painful. This is not true, and if you are experiencing pain then you probably need to slow things down a bit and, if necessary, stop completely. Remember, pain is the body’s way of telling you that something isn’t good for us, and this could be because you’re not relaxed enough, or you’re going to fast. A very common cause of pain is insufficient lubrication. These are all very important so let’s take a look at them more closely.
Relaxation
Because of its nature, the anal sphincter is capable of closing very tightly, and is resistant to sudden pressure, either from the inside or the outside. This is why it’s important to pay attention to relaxing the sphincter properly before any penetration takes place.
You can do this by contracting and relaxing the sphincter muscle a number of times and then gently massaging the opening with the pad of the finger. Use a drop of lube to make this more comfortable and don’t push the finger in until the opening feels quite soft and relaxed. Continue this massage a little way in, bearing in mind that the sphincter is rather like a short tube and needs to be relaxed completely. Add more lube as you go along to make sure that the massage is as smooth as possible and pay attention to any pain or discomfort, changing the action or depth of your finger as appropriate.
Lubrication
Which type of Lubricant is best is in part determined by your dildo and what material it’s made of.
If you have a silicone dildo a good quality water based lubricant is the best, because it won’t harm the silicone Whereas, if you have a rubber toy or dildo harness a silicone based lubricant is ideal, but don’t use an oil based product such a Crisco or Original BoyButter as this will dissolve the latex in the rubber.
In general terms a water based lubricant will be ideal for any dildo, whatever material it is made from. However, because water based lubricants are quite runny they can wear off quickly, so you’ll need to apply it quite often during play.
Probably the best for anal play is a silicone lube. It gives more slip and slide, and because it’s thicker than water based lubricant it cushions your lover’s thrusts more.
Also, to overcome the problem with conventional silicone lubes we now have two “Toy Lubes”. These both contain silicone, have a far better consistency than water based lubricant, AND can be used on any sex toy, no matter what it’s made of – including silicone. These are Eros Toyglide and Bodyglide For Toys
We also have sprays such as Eros Explorer for Men which is a muscle relaxant with a cooling anaesthetic-like effect, allowing your lover to experience anal penetration in comfort. This needs to be sprayed on to the anus and allowed to take effect a few moments before you apply your lubricant.
You may also like to try lubricant applicators which help ensure you’ve a nice amount of lube inside him. Astro Glide pre-filled applicators are simple, convenient and hygienic, filled ready to use with anal lubricant. Alternatively take a look at Lube Shooters, which you can fill with the lubricant of your choice.
Playthings
There are all sorts of toys designed specifically for anal pleasure. Butt Plugs are designed to be worn with or without an anal dildo harness, and enhance anal eroticism by creating sensations of fullness or pressure. Both silicone and vinyl plugs have a flared base to prevent over insertion. Anal Dildos, on the other hand, provide greater length and width than butt plugs. Used with a harness, they’re great for couples who are into Pegging, and who like a more thrusting and filling feeling inside! Other toys include designer steel toys, and pony tails for more interesting games!
For any form of anal play it’s absolutely essential that the dildo has no sharp edges and that it’s not too hard. With regard to dildos used specifically for pegging, your dildo should be firm yet soft and flexible.
Generally, if you can afford the extra cost, treat you and your lover to a silicone dildo or a vibrating silicone dildo, as they are by far the best. Silicone has no odour, it has a soft firmness, it’s a very hygienic material, it’s hypoallergenic, it can be disinfected and of course it’s phthalate free. You need a dildo with flexibility and which warms to your body temperature so we wouldn’t recommend using dildos made of Pyrex Glass, metal or hard plastic.
If you or your partner are allergic to latex avoid rubber dildos. It’s best not to go for Rabbit styles dildos as the shape is all wrong for anal play. You may also decide against toys made of jelly or cyber skin because these are usually made of cheaper plastics which might contain phthalates.
Prostate Massage
Prostate massage, sometimes referred to as milking, is all about arousing and exciting the male G-spot pleasure point. This is found about a finger’s length into the anus, and feels like a spongy ball. With gentle massage, either with the finger or using a specially designed Prostate Massager, it is possible to achieve a full body orgasm using a prostate massager without stimulating the penis. Go Gently and use lots of lube as usual.
Cleanliness
Often, people are concerned about hygiene in anal play. Good hygiene is always important but if you follow a few basic guidelines then you won’t go far wrong. Start with a shower. If you take this together then not only is it a great way to have fun, but you can start your anal playtime by cleaning each other with soft soapy explorations!
For more penetrative pleasures you could wear latex or vinyl gloves. Putting a medical slant on this can make it even more fun (“Time for your examination, Mr Pettigrew.”). Toys, dildos and butt plugs can be used with a condom. When you’ve finished using it, take off the condom and wash the toy. Generally it’s good practice when you use an anal toy to both clean it and replace the condom with a fresh one.
If you’re concerned about internal cleanliness then a simple flush with a Bulb Enema will often do the trick. This is particularly useful if you’re thinking about oral anal sex.
Enjoying anal play
Treat your anus with respect. It’s a very important part of your body, and worth looking after. Never insert anything with rough or sharp edges, or that doesn’t have a flared base or similar to stop it slipping all the way in. We’ve all heard the apocryphal tales from the casualty department and there’s truth behind almost every one.
Likewise, try not to use anything which numbs the anus completely. The whole point is to enjoy what’s going on down there, and if something doesn’t go to plan a sudden pain signal could be what saves you from injury.
Always make sure that toys and accessories are cleaned after use with warm soapy water and a bacterial cleanser if necessary.
One tip: if possible have separate toys for vaginal and anal use. It’ll minimize the risk of infection and you can explore the joys of double penetration.
The possibilities are endless. Enjoy!