Skills of a Dominatrix


The Importance of Your Voice:

The skill of a good disciplinarian lies within your intellect and your voice. Words are wonderful aphrodisiacs, and carefully chosen words can arouse your submissive’s mind sending delightful sensual shivers throughout their entire being. Your spoken commands, which must be obeyed, are the opening act in any scene of Dominance and submission, your chosen strict instructions set the scene and continue to enhance the whole play.

Remember the importance of your voice, and the sternness of your words. Your voice is perhaps best in your normal manner, just a little slower, more precise, and the tone a little deeper with emphasis on key words.

“I command you with my slightest touch, I control you with the mere warmth of my breath upon your skin, and you will please me by obeying my instructions”.

The strongest of men crumble so willingly at the command of a seductive lover. The power of sensually intoned words, even when whispered, can tease the imagination, excite the mind and strengthen desire through anticipation.

As your lover’s Mistress your voice is much more important than any implement of correction. The words you command can be as powerful as the whip you wield, or as restrictive as the restraints you employ.

male kneeling at his female lover's feet



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“Just breathe deeply and relax. We both know you behave yourself better when your wrists are cuffed and your body has given up the notion of escape”.

The illusion of power that you create is thrilling, erotic, and arousing. Dominance and submission is using your intellect to tease and arouse your lover’s mind, which in turn will trigger physical arousal.

“Discipline is a cleanser with which your misbehaviours are corrected, a gift for which you should be sufficiently grateful. Bend over and await my touch. NOW”.


Being Divinely Dominant to your man

Divine Domination naturally involves the subsumation of Erotic Surrender, and is an exciting variation on the role play of slave and Mistress, placing your man in the position of Erotically Surrendered Servant with duties above and beyond those of a slave.

The Erotically Surrendered Servant cannot exist independently of You, his Mistress. Being in the role of your servant gives him something to aspire to, and brings excitement and variety to your fantasies. His elevated position of Servant has to be earned, but once earned and bestowed upon him places responsibilities on him to serve you with honour, dignity, and absolute devotion.

Proving himself worthy

You may want to put him through a number of tests to ensure he can serve you properly and in all ways. You could include both domestic and intimate tasks. These would test his abilities to maintain the home or bedroom, as well as making sure he can anticipate and satisfy you every need and desire.

You could see if he can provide sexual pleasure for extended periods neither seeking pleasure for himself nor succumbing to his own lust spontaneously, particularly if he has been placed in chastity. Through the game you will find your own ways to do this and the prospective servant is unlikely to be short of ideas to please you. Don’t simply let him suggest everything, though. You are in charge – it is his place to do what you say, not manipulate you for his pleasure, however surreptitiously!

The Collaring Ceremony

Once he has proven himself to you, a collaring ceremony will cement his status as your Fully Surrendered Servant, and his erotic surrender to your Divine Dominance begins. Pick a new collar which will reflect not only his status but, more importantly, the value of the gift you have bestowed upon him. You have raised him from the lowly position of slave and his collar should remind him of his debt to you every day. He is your plaything, and will offer himself for your pleasure whenever, and in whatever way, you desire.

Once you have collared him, you can establish the rules governing his behaviour as a servant. For instance, how he stands, how he kneels before you, how he should look at you and address you, and so forth. You can think of rules regarding how, and in what position, he pleasures you, as well as ways in which demonstrates his own restraint. For example, you might want to make him hold his cum as he masturbates while you kneel astride his face, taking your pleasure from his tongue.

Making him completely Yours

You might also wish to assert your Dominance of him by choosing his clothes and other attire. This can include another less obvious collar which could be worn under clothing, cock rings, and chastity devices. Some Dommes make their servants wear a finger ring engraved with phrases like *“In Erotic Servitude”, “I am Your pleasure”, or “Semper Praesentialiter” (‘I am always in your presence’) – a constant reminder of the Woman whom he serves.

He should always be properly attired as you will have instructed him, always paying particular attention to intimate wear such as cock rings and chastity devices, never allowing them to become soiled or odourous.

Discipline

You have the right to correct or discipline him as you see fit. Should he transgress against you, he should kneel before you, confess his offence, and seek your forgiveness. Whatever your punishment he will endure it without complaint. Unless you want him to, of course.

What kind of discipline you dispense is completely up to you, but you could consider some of the following:

Reverse Cum Control: Forbid him to ejaculate while you masturbate him (preferably after several days’ denial) and then make sure he does cum. Then you can punish him for disobeying you. Two or three firm smacks per spurt is usual. Or you could measure the length of his spurt and punish him by the inch.

Extended days in chastity: Double his usual period in chastity and fill his time with activities which will increase his frustration no end, perhaps even forcing him to watch you masturbate.

Wearing handcuffs for the day: This can be particularly entertaining, especially where dressing himself and performing the day’s chores are concerned. Difficult tasks leave plenty of scope for extra chastisement on the way

Removal of his collar. For a servant to lose his collar, even briefly, should be the most shaming of punishments because it means he is demoted to slave and should be put to work, rather than allowed to serve. Toilets scrubbed with toothbrushes and shoes licked clean, along with the contents of your laundry basket!

Once punishment is over he should kneel again before you, thank you for punishing him with justice and fairness, and ask to be allowed to continue serving as before.

You are his lover, his guide, his teacher and his muse. You know when to listen, when to take control, when to stop and can distinguish his fantasies from reality. He shares with you his secret desires and you are his trusted partner. Overall you are an imaginative, creative role player and lover. You’re concerned with his emotional and physical self. You are empowered and lovingly, deliciously wicked!

So he can serve you better

A little Diabolical Domination


Photo Credits and Copyright
Top Image – Tickeberry
Video : Plaything by H Morgen

Saskia Zenn

 
About the Author… Saskia Zenn has worked for the last fifteen years in Marketing and PR. Over the course of her career, Saskia has managed all forms of Public Relations and Marketing campaigns for several high-profile and international organisations, and it is this flair and creativity which she brings to the new Tickleberry website.

“Becoming a co-owner of Tickleberry is a fantastic opportunity for me to bring together my personal and professional passions to create a really meaningful resource website for the BDSM community.”

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