What is Chastity Play?

“Chastity Play”

is a phrase often used to refer to male chastity, but as many loving couples know it is so much more than “play”.

Male chastity is an intensely intimate love-style which, initially fuelled by fantasy, is a sensual practice which can heighten eroticism and make foreplay seem forever lasting. It’s something enjoyed by more and more couples, particularly those in their late 30s and beyond. It’s something that has a unique and very special appeal particularly to couples who are a in a long term, loving, relationship.

Wearing a chastity device places a different emphasis on the genitals, you can no longer take your penis for granted. All direct sexual contact, from masturbation to sex, is restricted, and affairs and infidelity become more difficult. Once your penis is locked away and becomes inaccessible, every other part of your body becomes the playground of eroticism, your penis is owned by your wife/girlfriend/lover, and you become more aware of your other erogenous zones.

When the Experience Becomes More than Play:

As the experience moves from “Play” to longer term wear, a man in chastity learns to explore the sexuality within his relationship. He discovers sensuality and the importance of placing his lover’s needs and desires above his own lust. He welcomes the pleasure of pleasing, and realises that sex is no longer simply focused on his penis, intercourse and ejaculation. Men who discover this through chastity often find themselves enjoying and sharing the fruits of a wonderful relationship.

The components:

In addition to a couple being in a loving relationship and having experimented with chastity play what progresses it further from the play stage is the ability to share sexual secrets and fantasies and combination, or all, of the following elements:

A desire to be faithful and true to one another.
You’ve enjoyed games of Chastity Play and wish to move your experience forward.
Will power to avoid masturbation.
Inability to touch your penis.
Orgasm Denial.
Your keyholder enjoys the experience and protects the trust you’ve place in her.
A Cum-Day to look forward to!
The wearing of a chastity belt or device.
An enjoyment and enthusiasm for fantasy enactment.
Taking a break now and then from wearing the device so that it doesn’t become the norm and therefore loses many of its delights.
Being unable to release your penis from its confinement without your keyholder’s permsision.

You may notice that we’ve not included the following in the list above; Dominance, Femdom, submission, bondage, or Tease & Denial. These personal traits or fantasy preferences are not absolutely essential for male chastity. It can be whatever you want it to be, but we’d recommend once your personal understanding of chastity has developed (as a couple) and your confidence has built that you try at little D/s at least once – it can add spice, excitement and greater arousal to the bedroom and bring back the sparkles and electricity felt during the early days of your relationship.

It’s quite common for couples to experiment with chastity play and find that their wives, or girlfriends, or lovers start to relish the control of their man’s penis and sexual release. Some softer aspects of dominance, previously waiting for the right moment, may surface. Don’t expect this to happen – but it’s nice and playful if it does!

What it’s not…

It’s not Celibacy Chastity within a loving relationship is not about having your penis locked up and forgotten about. That’s entirely different, it would be without any promise of sexual pleasure and should perhaps be considered as celibacy.

Having your penis locked up does not mean you’ll never experience sexual pleasure again. Chastity offers a fulfilling sex life, arousal, pleasure and fun, but in a different way. A way where your attention is focused on your partner rather than your own penis, this means that sexual delights have much less to do with with traditional “penis-in-vagina” intercourse.

Wearing a Chastity Device does not mean you’re sexually inadequate. You can be masculine, virile, sexually able and enjoy wearing a chastity device.

It’s not about turning your wife or girlfriend in to a Dominatrix. If it’s not in her nature, don’t expect this aspect of your fantasy to be part of your shared experience. Many women can and do enjoy being involved and welcome being a part of your chastity fantasy but without the need to be strict and domineering. Others start to read internet articles, blogs and retailers websites to discover more about chastity play and domination, and surprise themselves at how appealing the idea of Female Domination is. She may adapt what she reads to her own nature, and find a softer, more gentle way to controlled your confined penis without becoming a leather clad, over-powering Domme. It means she will become YOUR Mistress, in her own way, and it’s up to you to adjust your fantasies and include her needs and desires – after all chastity is a shared experience.

What is Chastity to You?

The chastity experience begins with experimentation and chastity play. Whatever you and your lover believe chastity involves, then that what’s right for your relationship. It means differing things to different people. Providing both you and your partner are enjoying it, then that’s what matters most. This may or may not include a little Tease and Denial, or perhaps bedroom scenes of D/s. It may involve you wearing a strap on dildo harness to please your Lady whilst you’re locked in and denied. It could mean you become involved with the day to day management of house hold tasks. It may be a release for your submissive self. It may become an all encompassing love-style which extends from the bedroom into other areas of life. It can be whatever you want. So longs as it’s fun, there are benefits to be enjoyed by both of you.

    Updated and Unforgiving, the Spiral Male Chastity Device in body-safe stainless steel, it’s open design allows for a good air flow and ease of hygiene when bathing or showering.

    Part of the Master Series, this Extreme Confinement Chastity Cage is currently one of the most constricting stainless steel devices available.

    This is the Spiral, a popular device very similar in style to the one you see in our scrolling gallery above. Available from Uberkinky in the UK.

    One of the earliest designs of modern Male Chastity Devices, The Curve has a length of 3.75 inches making it the longest polycarbonate device currently available.

    Tough and reliable, the polycarbonate CB-6000 Short is probably the most popular chastity device from AL Enterprises


    Saskia Zenn

    About the Author… Saskia Zenn has worked for the last fifteen years in Marketing and PR. Over the course of her career, Saskia has managed all forms of Public Relations and Marketing campaigns for several high-profile and international organisations, and it is this flair and creativity which she brings to the new Tickleberry website.

    “Becoming a co-owner of Tickleberry is a fantastic opportunity for me to bring together my personal and professional passions to create a really meaningful resource website for the BDSM community.”